the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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