I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize