I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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