We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
