some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She's the barista slut.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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