She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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