yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Still dying that you shit outside
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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