Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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