new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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