There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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