She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
