Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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