god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
