He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
