even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
