They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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