ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
