The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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