I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
