Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
