just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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