My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize