I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
