I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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