I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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