No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
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