i barfeds in our rink
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
