I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
