Sponge bath it is.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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