He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
