I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
