Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
