did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize