Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
