Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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