thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
