forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
