Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dicks are not precious.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
