UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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