I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
