Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
