make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
