This show inspires me to have sex in space
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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