if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
