Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
