Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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