redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
