Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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