READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
