I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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