i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
