She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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