She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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